What it is now.

So I guess I have a lot of opinions on just life in general. Just based on my own personal experiences. My biggest thing is being positive, and happy, and that you make your life what it is. I love to laugh and just kick back and enjoy life, in fact, you could really say that I am very easily amused. I don't see that as a bad thing at all!

Its funny to think of my journey and how I got to this point.

The first part of my life was a difficult one. My parents had a very long, very nasty divorce. To say it was hard on us kids is putting it lightly. Growing up, I felt that I did not have a real home, or any calm or peaceful retreat to go to and feel safe. As a kid, not having somewhere to go to feel calm & safe, and to constantly be surrounded by arguments and fighting is pretty rough on a little one. So I used to walk around being very angry, and always unhappy, and very rebellious. There was always something wrong, everything was always so dramatic, everything was always an argument, ugh man I must have been just flat out exhausting to deal with!! I knew deep down I was a good person, with a good heart, but I was just way to bitter and miserable to let it out.

It took some good friends to sit me down & point this out to me, mixed in with some alone time & some maturity before I was able to see what they were saying. Then literally just like that, it hit me.... what my friends were trying to tell me for so long, I finally heard them, I finally could see exactly what they were talking about and I did not like what I saw!

I am not sure if these girls realize the impact they had on my life. Because of their patience, and their talks with me, and just by their examples, I was able to realize that... well... being grumpy sucks!! And, yes, the first chapter of my life sucked, but there's no reason why the next chapter in life has to be and I am the only one who has control over that and I am the only one who can change it- and because of that very crucial point - if I am not happy with life in general, I am the only one to blame! I also must include my husband in this. I met him right after I had this little revelation of mine. He was also a contributing factor because he helped me to continue going in this new positive direction.

Once I got to that point, then I was really able to put things into perspective. Health, family, good people who are good friends, those are the things that really matter in life. The ppl who spend the chunk of their time fighting, bitching, moaning, complaining, I just look at them and think of how happy I am to NOT be that way anymore and just so grateful to be where I am today. I'm not saying I don't have my bad days where I bitch about stupid things like the idiot who cut me off in traffic or the rude cashier at the store, of course I do. Everyone does. But what I am referring to today in this blog, is life in general- the big picture I guess you could say.

Now that I have learned this lesson, its really important to me to pass this on to my son. Like any parent, I want to raise him in the happiest, most positive environment possible. I want to teach him all the good things in life and hope he learns more positive things from me than negative. I know he will learn some negative habits b/c I'm not perfect but I just hope to give the best of me as much and as often as I possibly can. I want to teach him that its ok to take risks, that its ok to try but fail and then try again. That life is filled with some downs but also so many up's and to hop on the coaster & just enjoy the ride. I want to give him the support and the confidence to take on the world, but to also teach him to be sure to keep his feet on the ground. I want to teach him to trust in us as his parents and to know he can come to us with anything, and no matter what, we will always love him unconditionally. I don't have the slightest idea how to do all of this, but this outlook is my view on life, and I hope I can pass it on to him so he can grow up to be a happy young man. =)

So that's it in a nutshell. My outlook on life is to be positive, that things could always be worse. Its much easier (and healthier) to laugh and smile rather than to pout and gripe and that things are (almost always) never as bad as they seem. I am very happy to be where I am now and to think something as little as a "we need to talk" followed by some good ol' "sweet caroline" drunken karaoke with a few girlfriends could have such a positive impact on me later in life. Live, Laugh, Love ppl, that's what its all about. Cheers!!!!!